To New Beginnings

Do you ever feel like you just need or want something in your life but just can't put your finger on what that something is? Well, believe me, I do. This 2011 year has been nothing short of hectic, chaotic, frenetic, and some may say crazy, and there are times when I feel like there is just no way I will be able to handle it all. If you out there in this vast black hole known as the "world wide web" know what I'm talking about, then maybe this blog is more for you than it is for me. My boyfriend's mother inspired me to create a space of my own where I can be free to state what's on my mind without fear of prejudice or judgment. So, this morning before 5:00am, I opted to crawl out of bed and enjoy the quiet of the house and, with the loyal companionship of my Pebbles (black and tan chihuahua) curled up next to me on the couch, here I sit, embarking upon my first depiction of events that constitute why Every Day Is Different. Let me begin...

When I was younger than my 33 years, way younger, I used to believe that not only was 33 considered old, but that, as a 33 year-old, one's life would need to be in the proper setting so as to be accepted by society. In that, one would need to have gone to an accredited college and would have obtained some sort of degree, would have a steady job and more than likely, have 1.5 children with a gorgeous husband living in a home that could be found on the front cover of American Homestead. As the years passed by, quite rapidly I might add, it seemed as though each one of those "must haves" slowly disappeared on my priority list, much to the dismay of my parents, I'm sure.

My life is extremely fulfilling at times, and others, not quite so much. I am blessed with not only having possibly the most talented, gorgeous, witty, smart, charismatic thirteen year-old daughter, but also having the (i almost said unconditional love of a man, but sometimes I wonder) devotion of a man who is seemingly willing to do whatever it takes to keep us together as a family. If it weren't for his belief that two people can remain together forever, I don't think we would be together. I will get into that later on. What I mean to say is that I have lost sight of myself and who I am and who I want to be, not need to be and, today marks the commencement of my journey towards seeking, finding and most importantly, holding onto the inner peace and fulfillment with an iron-clad grasp. More later as I'm off to the gym to sweat like crazy so that I can resume fitting into my wardrobe comfortably instead of opting for the oh so cliche baggy boyfriend's t-shirt. Until then, find something to smile about and write it down. When u do, that's when it becomes real and you regain the power of the world instead of letting it run you over like a bulldozer.